Thinner Than Water

So grandma’s dead

What a relief

What a weight lifted.

You guys are sick

You’re not sorry either

I’m not gloating

Neither am I, I mean didn’t fuckin’ kill ‘er

May as well have the way you’re talking

It’s like getting hit by a bus

Some people you wanna push in front of it

Some you wanna pull away to safety

And some you just wanna watch it happen

Grandpa always said she was a real looker

You guys are heartless, just be nice for mom’s sake

Mom’s gonna cry no matter what

Yer gonna need an ark for that flood

And I need a couple of anchors for the two of you

 

*

 

Why is there even a minister here

When’s the last time she even went to church

When’s the last time they served real wine

Shut up. People will hear.

We should try sitting Shiva, you get like a whole week off

I could really catch up on some TV

For Christ’s sake shut your mouths.

You know you really shouldn’t take the lords name in vain, minister present and all

Just shut up.

I’m personally offended

Me too

I’m going to kill you if you guys don’t shut the hell up.

Maybe we’d meet grandma down there

I hear it’s a real party

Plenty of vices I assume

I hate you guys.

 

*

 

Yeah really unfortunate

But it was for the best, you know your grandma was very ill

Yea, real unfortunate

But still so sad of course

Yea, very sad

I better go talk to your mother

Good idea.

 

I wonder if she stipulated wine be served in her will

Mom probably just assumed

Fair enough

May as well get something out of her death

I wanted that fucking chair

Well look who’s enjoying the wine

Screw off

Hey, you came over here

Some of us need the wine okay?

Perchin’ to the choir

All the good family is over here anyways

Then what are you two doing over here

Ba-zing

Yer a real firecracker today

I had to miss the Beyonce concert for this

So the truth comes out

Can’t blame ya though

That calls for another cup

Give me the red stuff

Survey says, good answer!

 

*

 

Hey buddy how was your weekend!?

Went and saw the game on Friday, nothing much on Saturday, you?

Nothing Friday but you missed a great show on Saturday, the boys killed it

Ah man, next show I’m there, fer sure.